Kampin: April 2013

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Kampinmofos Deuce Identification Chart for Kampin’ (K-DICK)

When you are out in the field kampin’, it is critical that you identify your stool so you can adjust your kampin’ diet accordingly. Kampinmofos have provided an easy to follow chart for your convenience (K-DICK).

	Type 1: The ultimate kampin’ poop known as the “black beauty”, it appears thick and black with no cracks or lumps. Unknown what food combination causes this beauty, but it is very rare.
	Type 2: Large, chunky, and really hurts on the way out, this poop is commonly associated with eating large amounts of delicious meats like Tom’s massive burgers and prime rib, or Brian’s hot juicy meat.
	Type 3: Slick, smooth, and soft, usually indicative of heavy grease consumption. Probably associated with consuming large amounts of Matt’s white (gray) gravy or Mike’s deep fried spam balls.
	Type 4: Comes out hot and fast and burns your chili ring. This type is usually associated with Mike’s Ghost Pepper Chili, and commonly occurs around 2am.
	Type 5: Stool appears in lumps similar to rabbit poop, a sure sign you’ve had Lance’s crappy rabbit chili and you are severely malnourished.
	Type 6: This type is directly related to the consumption of Night Train. When the Train comes thru, it doesn’t like to stop, which results in chunky hard blobs.
	Type 7: Also known as Matt’s Chili or Kampin’ Puddin’, this deuce is wet, sticky, and messy. This type is also rich in color as well as smell, and almost always requires player wipes for proper clean-up.
	Type 8: This deuce has a liquid like consistency, with bubbles and a foul odor. Most always associated with the consumption of craft beers which lack proper krausening or beechwood aging.