Train Dilemma…

Each year as Kampin’ approaches I stock up on Night Train for the trip.  If you are a complete dumb ass, Night Train is the finest of fine wines. http://www.bumwine.com/nighttrain.html 

The Dilemma is how much to purchase.  With costs now approaching $3 a bottle you do not want to blow the budget but you certainly do not want to run out!  This year the dilemma is worse because of how far north we are going.

Up at Voyageurs National park the sun will rise between 5 and 5:30 am and set between 9:30 and 10pm leaving a short 7 hours for the Train to officially run.  And lets be honest as we all get old 10pm is pushing our bed time.  During fall kampin’ the train can make an appearance as early as 7pm.  We may have to start allowing the train to run during day time hours…

After careful study I have figured out an equation on how much train to get.

(# of night time hours * (# of Kampers * Puss Out Ratio)) /# times Homey takes a fake chug

Then divide that by

(Pi * # days before Kampin’ that Brent tell us he is not going) – the $ size of Bo Derek’s next deal at work that he will use as an excuse not to go

Finally take that result and subtract it from Linda Carters bra size or the size of her last IBS dump (which ever is bigger).

This year the answer came to, exactly, a mother fuckin’ lot…